“Hello, young man.”
You look like two fathers forced to socialize with each other because their children are friends.
“I have sunscreen in my fanny pack if you need it.”
Good to know.
“Do you have gas money?”
“Is your phone charged? If I call your phone and you don’t answer, I will call the police.”
“Do you have condoms?”
OMIGOD you’re embarrassing me!
“Don’t give me those horse apples, mister. Two things Big Poppa Phil doesn’t allow in the house: babies and herpes.”
I want to go live with mom.
“We all want to go live with mom, but the nice sheikh bought her fair and square.”