TotD can now reveal the reason the Internet Archive lags, or freezes, or goes down for an hour here and there: this is where they keep it. The Internet Archive is kept in a panel van in Palo Alto. The last major outage was because the Archive had been impounded due to unpaid parking tickets. Sometimes on the high–
“Hey, man? I’m sleeping, man. Shh.”
Goddammit, are you living in the Internet Archive?
“I’m in between places, man.”
This can’t be good.
“Oh, I’m cool, man.”
I’m not talking about you, Soup. I meant for the Archive.
“Cant be optimal, probably. I try not to have too many guests, though, man.”
Great. Is there a bathroom in there?
“No way, man. It’s a panel truck, not an Earthroamer, man.”
Then where have you been pooping?
“They’re like big litterboxes, man.”
Stop pooping on Phil’s bocce courts, please. You’ve driven the man around the bend.
“Oh no, man. Phil’s upset? No way, man.”
You pooped on his lawn. Of course he’s upset.
“I love Phil, man! I should go say sorry, man.”
No! Don’t do that!
“Why not, man? I’ve wronged Phil, man.”
Because he’ll have the busboys murder you. Or he might do it himself. He’d do it himself.
“Y’know, I’ve had people poop on my lawn and I just called ’em a dick, man.”
We’re so far beyond that point. Just stop doing it.
“Oh, yeah. No problem, man. Tour season starts pretty soon anyway, man.”
Who you touring with?
“Doesn’t matter, man.”
“I’m Soup, man.”