“Enjoying my haircut.”
You look like Christoph Waltz.
“Well, all handsome people look alike; it’s the nature of the beast.”
“Sure, it’s just about symmetry and proportion. Eyes this far away from nose, mouth this big in relation to the nose, that kind of thing. It’s not that the rest of the guys in the band are ugly, it’s that their faces are fucked up, mathematically.”
That will reassure them.
“I look like a thousand other handsome white guys: Harrison Ford, Robert Redford, but in goofiness comes uniqueness. Phil didn’t look like anyone. Garcia didn’t look like anyone.”
Garcia looked like a tall Ewok.
“Ewoks aren’t real.”
Garcia looked like a tall koala.
“Knock it off. The laws of attraction are numerical laws, my friend.”
Something to mull over.
“Y’know who I used to get mistaken for constantly? Yaphet Kotto.”
“Yup. Never understood it myself, but anything that’ll help me pull black chicks is fine by me.”