Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

New, New Minglewoody Blues

Bobby.

“Hey. Have, uh, you met Woody Harrelson?”

Hey, Woody. How are you?

“I’m just here to talk about Rampart.

Great. Bob?

“Yeah?”

Weren’t you just wearing shoes?

“My body rejected them.”

Sure.

“Like a baboon liver”

Gotcha.

“Knees swole up, eyes started watering, armpits got confused.”

Sounds bad.

“Luckily, my wife–”

Natasha Monster.

“–always carries a pair of emergency sandals in her purse. She’s like a Boy Scout, but a girl.”

Those are called Girl Scouts, Bobby.

“That would explain why she keeps trying to sell me cookies.”

Bobby, focus. Why is Woody Harrelson singing?

“Something fun for the kids.”

This is dangerously close to a Johnny Depp jam session. Don’t be that Rock Star.

“You bet.”

Having fun at Sundance?

“Sure. Whole family came out.”

The whole family?”

“WE DEMAND VEGAN POPCORN AT THE SCREENING!”

“Yup. Whole family”

Hey, Lilian Monster.

“WE DEMAND ROBERT REDFORD BE MADE FROM PLEATHER!”

“Yup. Whole family.”

1 Comment

  1. Luther Von Baconson

    January 24, 2017 at 7:58 pm

    Col Kurtz & the Chief, the Saucier, & Lance

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