Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

News Of The World

I don’t know anything about Nice. I know a little more now, but nothing at all, really. It’s a city in France; it probably began as a Roman colony; Rome used to have a lot of colonies. But maybe not. Nice is in the south, and is where the heroin from the French Connection came from, except it didn’t: it came from Marseilles, so I didn’t even know the one thing I knew. I’ve never been to France.

And I don’t know anything about war beyond movies, and I’m certain that the more war movies you watch, the less you know about war. I’ve never run for my life, and that right there is 2016’s Prayer: May you never run for your life, and may you never shelter in place, and may you receive no thoughts and prayers, and may you not trend. Amen.

Wahhabists and Salafists and the Qataris–but aren’t the Qataris hang fucking dai with the Saudis?–and I think these are Sunnis. Iran is Shia, but is Iran a part of this? I had a dentist who was Iranian, but he was also Jewish and from Brooklyn, so Iran is most likely not a part of this. There is something called a Daesh. The Taliban may or may not still be a thing. This is to say I don’t know anything about Radical Islamic Terrorism.

In France, there are suburbs called banlieues; other European countries call their Muslim ghettos something else; Europe used to have a lot of colonies.

There must be a sunny patch to sit in. Find a cat, and there will be a sunny patch. Close your eyes and the afternoon will be over. Or leave them open, and the afternoon will still be over. Time does not consult with you, no matter how sunny your patch. Maybe you will see a bunny, but it will not consult with you, either. Don’t take it personally; if you did, it might start to seem that the world doesn’t care about your opinion.

Let’s shoot down the satellites. It’s Florida, so someone near me has a bazooka: we will blow shit up until we have quiet. After the fires die, we will know peace. Turn the cell towers into tetherball posts for the very large. Get your cousin, the one with the extra ear, and have her take a shit in the printing press. Rehire all the journalists and then fire them again. No more breaking news tonight. I can’t take anything more breaking tonight.


  1. “2016’s Prayer: May you never run for your life, and may you never shelter in place, and may you receive no thoughts and prayers, and may you not trend. Amen.”

    Now there’s a fucking T-shirt.

    I’m so sick and tired of this descent into madness.

  2. I’ll find days until your just forgotten. All this, every moment, every significant person and event will one day be lost in time.

    • What about the Insignificant?

      I tend to be wary of statements that use characterizations like “all”, “always”, “every”, “never”, &c. Especially when considering the Big Questions.

      “I don’t know” is usually closer to the truth.

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