Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

No Further

Well, I’ve found my new favorite thing: the story of a boy, his bus, and some serious bullshit.

Zane Kesey is Ken’s boy and he tends to his dad’s old van and listens to his dad’s old friends’ old stories. Does he own the rights to the name “Acid test?” Does anyone? If anyone does, it seems like it would have been Bill Graham and no one would have realized it until years later, but that is neither here nor there.

So, Zane wanted to drive out and show off the bus, which is the original one. New paint job, but otherwise original. Also, the brakes, but those needed fixing. The engine seized in the late 90’s, and then mice chewed up the entire electrical harness while it sat there, so those are all new, too. Small amount of body work. Brand-new exhaust and also the transmission. Obviously, there are new tires.

Like she just rolled out of the factory.

And then a person named Normal Bean showed up.  You can read about it here and, for the second time today, I beseech one of the smarter Enthusiasts to explain to me just what the fuck is going on. I was never real clever-like with your sinuous-type narrative, y’see. Spy movies? I just watch the attractive people kill and fuck one another in glamorous locations. Any plot beyond Mad Max: Fury Road is beyond me.

I do not understand much of this, but what it seems has happened is that a decent man’s name was used by a low shyster for purposes of skullduggery. The pig in a poke can only be sold on the salesman’s name and reputation, which is why a Bean hides behind a Kesey.

However.

tesla

This is during the conversation about the private train lines the city has promised Normal Bean. Did you notice the bit about Tesla? Would you have sprinted in the other direction at this point? Do you know Ben Jammin?

And then there’s this one:

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When a motherfucker STARTS his bullshit with the Johnny Depp Casual Mention, you know you’re in for some good bullshit. Does Thai Stick stick still exist? Doesn’t matter: this is going to be the Thai Stick of bullshit when you OPEN with the JDCM.

In two paragraphs, this fast-talking sumbitch claims massive swathes of Chicago, like he was some sort of hippie conquistador planting his flag in things. Then, he gives Zane Kesey a TV show.

Zane? Bubbe? Kiddo? Should have seen this one coming. Maybe should hit the big city a little bit more, get mugged once or twice.

Enthusiasts, what have we learned?

  • A man named Normal Bean is precisely as trustworthy and honest as you would expect him to be.
  • Can’t con an honest man.
  • The city of Chicago does not work the way Normal Bean describes it.

You like saying Normal Bean, don’t you?

Who wouldn’t?

Yeah, I guess.

Normal Bean!

Normal Bean!

Let’s kiss!

YOU ALWAYS RUIN THE FUN.

14 Comments

  1. Robin Russell

    June 9, 2015 at 12:40 am

    Some quick research reveals there is a Norman Bean on Facebook touting an organisation called The Gold Refinery that pays you top-dollar for your old, unwanted gold jewelry [sic]. If this is the same Norman Bean, I think it is clear that, with his gold connections, he could well control the City of Chicago. I think you should cut the fellow some slack (but make sure his wrists and ankles remain securely tied).

  2. Robin Russell

    June 9, 2015 at 12:43 am

    I mean, of course, if this Norman Bean is in fact the same person or entity as Normal Bean, and there is some evidence of difficulties with spelling by all parties here.

  3. Robin Russell

    June 9, 2015 at 12:56 am

    Further research just in from my team indicates Normal Bean is some sort of wigged out Oregon musician, so a level of trust seems indicated.

  4. Cali Darkstar

    June 9, 2015 at 1:16 am

    ya this Normal Bean is the musician not the goldsmith.

    also, it wasnt going to be the original bus which is mostly completely biodegraded into the swamp at the Kesey farm. Its the second incarnation, bought i believe in 1990 by Ken

  5. By the time you get here to Chicago, where the need for papers and permits rivals 1940’s Berlin (or bags and bags of big bills-duffel bags.) And Normal Bean will need to morph quickly into Norm B. Ing and be prepared to speak with some at least (bullshit) importance about the value of gold futures to these shows at hand. And if that can’t fly, he gotta be ready for what Bob Dylan knew “The cops don’t need ya, and man, they expect the same”.

  6. Is Normal Bean related to Grateful Dean? Are these cast offs from an early draft of “Jack Straw”? Or “Amagamalin St.”?

  7. mario salerno

    June 9, 2015 at 2:14 pm

    ill have tshirts made up never fall for the JCDM

  8. Robin Russell

    June 9, 2015 at 7:19 pm

    Never trust a Prankster.

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