Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Non-Contextual Injury Report For The NFL, Week 2

  • ACL tear.
  • PCL shredded like tissue paper.
  • MCL snuck out of knee and stabbed the opposing team’s Defensive Coordinator.
  • Stabbing.
  • Minor concussion.
  • Major concussion.
  • Semi-decapitation.
  • Turf toe.
  • Goalpost elbow.
  • Luxury suite waist.
  • Spiral fracture of radial.
  • Spiral light of Venus, shining first and shining best.
  • Prolapsed armpit.
  • Adult-onset sickle-cell anemia.
  • Spontaneously inverted nipple (left).
  • Hip pointer.
  • Hip setter.
  • Hip retriever.
  • Numerous bruises, contusions, and minor cuts. (Players.)
  • Numerous bruises, contusions, and minor cuts. (Players’ wives and girlfriends.)
  • Zika.

1 Comment

  1. And the always unfortunate lacerated groin.

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