I can see portions of your torso.
“Oh, thank you for speaking to me. That’s why I wasn’t wearing headphones.”
Then I shan’t kick your shins.
“Gentlemen are rare at festivals these days.”
Your hair is doing many things at once.
“It’s the color of honey made by expensive bees.”
“The Carolingians worshipped bees, you know.”
Is that true?
“No, but the Hittites did.”
Is that true?
“Maybe. What are your thoughts on states’ rights?”
“You believe in limited states’ rights?”
No, I have a limited amount of beliefs pertaining to states’ rights.
“Why doesn’t math have to take a student class?”
Because you can’t just move nouns around in a sentence and have it mean something.
Not all of sudden, and at a music festival.
“You sound old when you said that.”
“May I call you Victor?”
Or Randy Savage.
“Do you think that his the wrestler’s name was Randy “The Mature Man” Savage?”
“What’s in like in your head?”
Remember the bridge at the end of Temple of Doom? Kind of like that.
“That movie came out so long before I was born.”
YOU CAME OUT BEFORE YOU WERE BORN I apologize for that. I should not have yelled, and I apologize.
“I didn’t like you before, but now I’m getting into your vibe.”
“Yeah. I like take-charge guys. Which is why I’m dating a superhero.”
Oh, for fuck’s sake.
“I’M NOT THE HERO THE LOT NEEDS, BUT I WANT TO BE NAKED!”
What’s your stupid name?
Please let me stop doing these.