Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Not All Heroes Wear Capes, But Some Do

rando hottie lolla.jpg

I can see portions of your torso.

“Oh, thank you for speaking to me. That’s why I wasn’t wearing headphones.”

Then I shan’t kick your shins.

“Gentlemen are rare at festivals these days.”

Your hair is doing many things at once.

“It’s the color of honey made by expensive bees.”

A-List bees.

“The Carolingians worshipped bees, you know.”

Is that true?

“No, but the Hittites did.”

Is that true?

“Maybe. What are your thoughts on states’ rights?”


“You believe in limited states’ rights?”

No, I have a limited amount of beliefs pertaining to states’ rights.

“Why doesn’t math have to take a student class?”

Because you can’t just move nouns around in a sentence and have it mean something.

“Language evolves.”

Not all of sudden, and at a music festival.

“You sound old when you said that.”


“May I call you Victor?”

Or Randy Savage.

“Do you think that his the wrestler’s name was Randy “The Mature Man” Savage?”


“What’s in like in your head?”

Remember the bridge at the end of Temple of Doom? Kind of like that.

“That movie came out so long before I was born.”

YOU CAME OUT BEFORE YOU WERE BORN I apologize for that. I should not have yelled, and I apologize.

“I didn’t like you before, but now I’m getting into your vibe.”


“Yeah. I like take-charge guys. Which is why I’m dating a superhero.”

Oh, for fuck’s sake.



What’s your stupid name?


Please let me stop doing these.


  1. I told you from the first one to stop and yet somehow….. somehow… u didnt listen……. ur just doin’ this to yourself buddy

    • I don’t know how to say “I’m going to kick your ass” in Latin yet, because, well, that’s complex, and I forget everything about future verbs. But I will, in fact, kick your ass someday. Someday.

  2. P.S. everybody, it was my birthday on Sunday and now I’m 17. It was weird having it on a Sunday. I didn’t like it. Then again, I’m always let down by my birthday. Oh well, there’s always next year! And I’ll be 18!

  3. Mean, Green, Devil Eating Machine

    August 31, 2016 at 10:31 am

    No picture of Kim Jong-un wearing his cape? You’re slipping , TOTD.

    p.s. TOTD has also slipped in Google search results – the dot com version came up second today.

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