Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Not Quite Kosher

hottie selling cozies

I like your entrepreneurial spirit, and ethnic hair.

“So many possible genetic backgrounds.”

No, you’re Jewish.

“Just barely, though.”

Oh? I’m a Reform Jew, too.

“Very low-effort denomination.”

Everything’s in English, there are no threats, women are treated equally: it hardly even qualifies as religion.

“I consider myself a Buddhist now.”

What do others consider you?

“Zoroastrian. I don’t know where they got that idea.”

Weird. Y’know, I’m cuddly but muscular.


No. The opposite. Bony, and I shriek when I’m touched.

“You’re a catch.”

Can we continue this conversation over food?

“Sure. I wanna eat tacos.”

Cool. Is there a truck or something?


tacos guy praking lot


I truly despise this bit.


  1. This is one of my favorite bits. Though Mr. Cockmeat is a little clean cut for his role.

  2. How do you say “I’m gonna kick your ass” in Hebrew?

  3. Mean, Green, Devil Eating Machine

    August 26, 2016 at 9:52 am

    A beer and water chaser. No, a water and beer chaser. No, that beer is so watery, it’s just a water and fizzy water chaser.

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