Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Odds For Trump’s Asia Trip

The windows are now open at Offtrack Betting on the Dead (OtBotD); all currencies are accepted, and barter-style wagers can be discussed. (If you wanna bet your car, you can bet your car. If you wanna bet a cookbook you masturbated on, then you cannot do that unless it’s a first-edition Escoffier or something where the value of the book outweighs the distaste over the jiz.) Odds posted are liable to change before post time, and all bets are final.

  • References a Vietnam movie while in Vietnam – EVEN MONEY.
  • Godzilla impression – 10 to 1.
  • Mothra impression – 20 to 1.
  • King Ghidorah impression – 100 to 1.
  • Attempts to spell “Seoul;” succeeds – 50 to 1.
  • Attempts to spell “Seoul;” fails – 30 to 1.
  • Lectures foreign leader abut the history of their country – 5 to 2.
  • “Fake news” – 3 to 7.
  • “You people” – EVEN MONEY.
  • Claims that you can find better _____ food in New York City – 5 to 1.
  • That handshake thing – 3 to 1. (You forgot about that fucking handshake thing, didn’t you?)
  • John McCain joke in Hanoi – 2 to 1.
  • Extemporaneous statements in which it is crystal clear he does not know what country he is in – 4 to 1.
  • Jet lag-induced three a.m. tweetstorm consisting entirely of glowering selfies with the caption “I am being Strong for you! Asia!” – 9 to 1.
  • Starts WWIII – 6 to 1.
  • Hand slapped away by Melania – 2 to 1.
  • Embarrasses all of us some more like the goofy-faced dumbfuck that he is – NOT ACCEPTING WAGERS.


  1. President Two Scoops probably will say something derisive about John McCain’s time incarcerated at the Hanoi Hilton. The odds on that one are well set. I am surprised you didn’t mention something about how Trump will envy President Duterte’s complete hold on the Philippines system of justice. The Orange Menace has to love that Duterte just simply kills drug addicts & dealers without any trial cost. I will lay 3 to 5 that he makes an aside about that.

  2. Sad to say, he said the biggest whopper ever, “it’s not a gun issue”. Unfortunately for the NRA he had to say This in a land (Japan)of 127 million people who have strict gun control/ bans. Japan had 6 gun deaths in 2014 vs usa’s 33900 and the police fired 6 shots in all of 2015. ( without research).

  3. Luther Von Baconson

    November 6, 2017 at 7:05 pm

    No stop in Bangkok? Bummer.

  4. Luther Von Baconson

    November 6, 2017 at 7:26 pm

    maybe just forgive his ramblings

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