Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Old Land Slide

Happy New Year’s to the new parents, padding around in their socks and asleep by ten; to the babies, too, thoroughly unaware of orbital mechanics or Pope Gregory’s influence on the balloon and noisemaker industries.

Happy New Year’s to the paramedics with their spatulas, and even the cops. The nurses and surgeons and moppers of shit. The voices on the other end of 911. The Fire Chiefs and probies. Server monkeys. Tugboat captains. Frazzled nerds at power plants watching outdated meters and flicking retro switches, because someone gotta. Pilots and flight crews and the guy with the orange flashlights waving you in.

Happy New Year’s to the bass players and back-up singers and road managers, and to the magicians, and their assistants and rabbits; the dancers in the chorus, and the comics and drag queens. The pianists sitting in front of giant brandy glasses. Strippers with magical boobies and optimal dongs, and the sizable fellows that watch over them.

Happy New Year’s to the bartenders. And to the waitresses, God bless the waitresses, and save a place in heaven for the short-order cooks; the busboys shall inherit the Earth. Delivery drivers in their shitboxes bringing pizza to shitholes.

And to the drunken, and the doomed, and the dummies; the foolish and the absent-minded, and the bitter and mean; to all the ghosts and yearners,  and those with hearts made of duct-tape. The weird, and the smelly: happy New Year’s, all you losers.

Happy New Year’s to all us losers.



  1. Right back at you ToTD.

  2. Mind if I shout out to the show streamers, the periscope folks with cell phone battery packs.

    Get that shit out of my face when I am at a show, but when I am home I love you.

    h20-girl comes to mind, or something like that, and taperrob, it has been a while but taperrob has been good to us.

  3. Happy New Year to you, Internet Buddy.

    Your posts have become a refuge of badly-needed humour and wisdom in these truly Dark times. Keep up the good work.

  4. Happy new year to you all, and thanks for what brought us together in past years, whether in a parking lot or around speakers playing an FM broadcast.

  5. Here’s to 2018, TotD. Thank you for what you do. It maks the world more tolerable, more hopeful and more amusing.

  6. Happy New Year to the storytellers, who make the world a better, more interesting place for their efforts.

    Can you imagine how much worse 2017 would have been if we all couldn’t escape to Little Aleppo or get shot at by Miles Davis or shop for toppermosts with Josh or get cussed at by Phil or yoink t-shirts with Mickey every now and again?

  7. Luther Von Baconson

    January 1, 2018 at 10:59 am


  8. Gorgeous…hope you’ll have a good one.

  9. I think I may have fit into half a dozen categories up there, so happy new year to all the semi retired roadies, road kids, tourists and tour heads. Also to transgender hair stylist, ghost, book store owners, and writers of fiction. Or even semi-fiction.

Leave a Reply to Tor Haxson Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published.