Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

One-Tub Man

Why are you in the bathtub?

“Rest of the room is on fire.”

Currently?

“It’s more of a smolder-type deal now, but you get the drift, man.”

What about a pipe? Maybe if you smoked a pipe, you’d set fewer hotel rooms on fire.

“A pipe? Like Sherlock Holmes? What are those suckers called, the big ones? A calaboose?”

Calabash.

“Right, right. What’s a calaboose?”

A jail cell.

“Y’know the thing about jail? No fun.”

I knew that.

“Well, to be honest, it varies. Last couple times I got arrested weren’t that bad. The cops let me sit in an office and smoke. One of ’em brought me a meatball sub.”

Can’t complain about that.

“I asked for a meatball parm.”

Okay, you can complain a little. Seriously, though: one of these days, you’re going to start a big fire.

“Yeah, maybe. We tried hiring a kid to sit up with me and pluck the cigarette from my hand when I nodded off.”

How’d that turn out?

“I set him on fire by accident.”

Sure.

10 Comments

  1. Speaking of which: Anyone know whether Mickey’s barn has survived the current fire?

  2. Nice dictators reference.

  3. Would have thought the title could have been that little feat song. Disappointed.

  4. Listen totd, fat man in a bathtub is a little feat song and thus should be first choice in headline, hmmm, dictators was that Richard hells band? Or something to do with Johnny thunders?

  5. I was just tryin’ to keep ya honest. But yes in fact without even clicking I remember the post. Hangin’ me head in shame.

    Not so casual after all.

  6. Luther Von Baconson

    October 12, 2017 at 11:13 am

    “that’s a classy soap holder. bifurcated, with a drain spout”

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