Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

One Watch By Night, One Watch By Mayer

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This ornate beauty was made in Geneva (duh) in the 17th century by a guy named Jean Rousseau, who went on to play left wing on the Nordiques in the 80’s. It currently resides–

john mayer tie

“GIVE IT TO ME.”

Josh Meyers?

“Don’t call me that.”

Bobby calls you that.

“You’re not Bobby.”

You’re not Garcia.

“Never said I was.”

You’re growing a beard.

“I am physically incapable of growing a beard.”

ME TOO. We are best friends now.

“We’re not.”

I have ideas for business ventures I’d like you to fund.

“I won’t.”

Do you have a guest house? If so, what’s your pet policy for the guest house? If it allows cats, will you buy me a cat when I move into your guest house?

“Tell me about the watch.”

It’s in the Louvre. You can’t buy it.

“I must have it. It combines the two most important things in my life: the Dead and watches. I’m already considering what bandana to pair it with.”

It’s not for sale.

“Is it well-guarded?”

No more heists. I did the heist bit. It was fair-to-middling at best.

“There must be a way.”

Josh–

“Fuck off.”

–if you want a watch with some Dead bullshit, I can get you one for fifty bucks. Here:

stealie wristwatch

You owe me fifty bucks.

“Ew.”

What? Watch, Dead bullshit: that timepiece–

“Don’t call it that.”

–fits both your criteria. It’s chrome. Chrome is cool. Plus, when the battery runs out, you can take it to the kiosk in the mall and get a new one for ten bucks.

“Pass.”

Was it the pocket part of the pocket watch that you liked?

stealie pocket watch

“Stop talking to me.”

I’m your biggest fan, Josh Meyers.

“This is being forwarded to my lawyer.”

I’m cool with three-ways.

“Jesus, man.”

5 Comments

  1. I can’t grow much more than a patchy fuzz, but I’m not letting it stop me. Live the dream.

  2. Luther Von Baconson

    April 15, 2016 at 11:01 am

    NFB classic

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