Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Other Groups Half (+/-) Made Up Of Deplorables

COACHES Some coaches are decent people, or enjoy teaching, or they couldn’t get out of helming their five-year-old’s tee-ball squad. Every other coach is a Secret Harbaugh, like Obama’s a Secret Muslim. Red-assed bellowers that needed to be forced to allow their players to drink water during practices. Two-a-days, suicides, burpee: coaches thought these up. Coaches’ families all hate them.

SUBWAY PATRONS Again: not all who purchase “food” from Subway are deplorable. Sometimes it’s the only option, or you don’t have enough time to get an actual sandwich, or you just wanted some cookies. However, there are those who choose Subway freely and of their own will; these fools should have their citizenship stripped from them.

STATEN ISLANDERS Come on, you know it’s true. There’s David Johansen and then a long, steep tumble to second place.

FLORIDIANS In case you’re from Staten Island and want to be all, “Yeah, well where you live is full of reprobates, parolees, fake underage doctors, flakka addicts, and Rick Scott,” then there you go. Florida is 80-90% deplorable, and even the folks that aren’t totally irredeemable are a little shitty.

ZOOKEEPERS Half of them fuck the animals. Could be more, could be less. About half.

WIDE RECEIVERS If you needed to find the biggest asshole on a football team (besides the coach), then it would save you time to start at the wide receivers’ lockers. Preening, lazy fancy-boys the lot of them. (Except for Wes Welker or Jordy Nelson: those guys are scrappy gym rats who play the game right.)



  1. Here is a string of words that no coach, has ever put together.

    “son what you did was rape that girl, I am going to have to call the police. “

    • Thoughts On The Dead

      September 12, 2016 at 10:53 pm

      Cyclists or the motored variety?

      • Luther Von Baconson

        September 13, 2016 at 1:51 pm

        The Lance McSpandex dudes on the Burke-Gilman Trail. Can’t a guy walk in peace on the side (always out of the way, in the weeds essentially like a pike) without getting snarled at? How can you be so angry on a bike?

        • A couple days ago I watched a “Lance McSpandex” swerve/race off the waterfront trail onto Lakeshore BLVD. The car he cut off swerved into the other lane and flipped a Subaru onto it’s roof. Fucking biker just kept on riding…..

          • Luther Von Baconson

            September 13, 2016 at 3:25 pm

            geez louise, that must’ve sent you into tachycardia. nerve-wracking enough to drive downtown. i don’t get it. just go down to the school. jump the stairs, pop-a-wheelie, do some skids already. put a hockey card in your back spokes.

          • That’s my kid of bike, what are the odds this kid squared himself on the landing?

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