Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Other Things Pope Francis Now Allows Priests To Forgive Women For

  • Having gross stuff instead of penises like they’re supposed to.
  • Being shrill.
  • Being a harpie.
  • Being a harridan.
  • Being a prude.
  • Being a tease.
  • Being a slut.
  • Breast-feeding anywhere but a darkened windowless room with the door triple-locked so no one will have to look upon their shame.
  • Their filthy opinions.
  • The whole “stop raping us” obsession.
  • Ending a sentence in a preposition.
  • Teeth down there?
  • Singing off-key during Playing in the Band.
  • Wearing trousers.
  • The complete lack of humor about anonymous death threats anytime they write something on the internet.
  • Demanding bodily autonomy, even though they lack dicks.
  • A dick is to the body what a joystick is to a plane: it’s how you control the sucker.
  • Duh.
  • Women, right?


  1. Disaster Amnesiac

    September 1, 2015 at 5:40 pm

    Donna Jean never struck me as a Catholic, lapsed or otherwise.

  2. Baptist, surely.

  3. Now you have done it, I am about to listen to all versions of “Sunrise” to try to figure out Donna Jean

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