Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Over The Hill, But Not So Far Away

robert plant lockn
Hey, Robert Plant from Led Zeppelin.

“I’m actually with the Infamous Something-Or-Others now.”

Sure. Ask you a question?

“Have at it, lad.”

What’s with your boy?

“More specific, please.”

The pigfucker.

“Ah. It does seem Mr. Cameron’s had the same relationship with his constituents for quite some time, doesn’t it?”

Wow, you English guys insult each other good.

“Oh, I don’t know: there’s a certain primitive poetry to simply calling him a ‘pigfucker,’ as well.”

Thanks. So?

“Apparently, David Cameron–who now possesses the codes that launch nuclear weapons–laid his tallywhacker in a porker’s gob.”


“Todger in what was soon-to-be bacon butty.”

I can’t make heads or tails of this.

“Dick in a pig’s mouth, you filthy colonial.”

Oh. Was there thrusting?

“Would that make it better or worse?”

Good point, Robert Plant.

“Thank you, thank you.”

One last question.


Did anyone ever remember that laughter?

“We’re done here.”



  1. Janis put her privates in a live Pig and nary a word.

  2. He was great at Mountain Jam. Every other song was a Zep tune. Rearranged of course. Moody-ized. Didn’t get the chance to see him recently up here in NYC.

  3. I’m not the fig plucker, I’m the fig plucker’s son, but i’ll pluck your figs ’til the fig plucker comes.

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