Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Overheard At The Grateful Dead Academic Conference

  • So, no one’s going to tell Phil that he doesn’t have to wear the robes and mortarboard 24/7? He’s starting to stink.
  • None of the professors are from Hogwarts, Bobby. I can’t keep explaining this.
  • Everyone is going to need to stop grabbing at the co-eds.
  • Also, everyone is going to need to stop using the word “co-ed.”
  • We’re going to see a presentation entitled “Wave That Flag: Nixon, Garcia, and the Paris Peace Accords.”
  • Oh, we’re going to see a paper called “Listen to the Bird on the Hot Wire Sing: How the Grateful Dead Invented Twitter.”
  • Have you gotten to see San Jose? We saw the sights this morning and then got stabbed, but just a little.
  • I don’t care where you find them, just get some black people for the group photo. It just looks bad.
  • You dosed the post-docs? I dosed the post-docs. Wow, how many people dosed the…ah, they’re post-docs: this is probably the only fun they’re had in half-a-decade.
  • No, I find it in no way ironic holding an academic conference to critically examine a bunch of men (and Mrs. Donna Jean) whose median level of formal education was eleventh grade-and-a-half. Why do you ask?
  • Bad news: Brent used Time Sheath technology to get here
  • Good news: he is in the school mascot’s costume, so no one knows it’s him.
  • Bad news: we are going to need to purchase a new mascot costume for them. Brent has soiled it.

1 Comment

  1. Do you know:
    a) the way to San Jose
    b) how the song goes
    c) the Muffin Man
    d) what was in that tea I drank

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