Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Overheard At The Wedding

  • I’m not even asking for a blueprint, Bear: just a clear description of what exactly a “Wall of Vows” is and why it costs three hundred thousand dollars.
  • Lenny Hart just stole the wedding cake.
  • You dosed the bridesmaids? I dosed the bridesmaids! Jesus, how many people dosed the bridesmaids? We should go check on them.
  • Billy, you really should have brought an aquarium or some water if you were going to give the couple tropical fish. They all died so quickly and predictably and preventably. It was sad.
  • Plus, you were throwing them at people.
  • Hey, is that Kim Jong-Un?
  • Mickey insisted on teaching everyone Jewish wedding traditions and long story short: Bobby threw a chair out a window; Phil broke a glass against the bar and is currently threatening the bartender with it while demanding to know “Just what the fuck is vermouth, anyway?”; and someone from the road crew sacrificed a flawless red heifer born in the west, and between that and the fish, it’s starting to smell up in here.
  • Who let Ned Lagin DJ?
  • Billy and Mickey have been improvising a percussion battle using the silverware and the older relatives’ walkers and wheelchairs for 35 minutes and it’s starting to wear thin.
  • Garcia’s officiant powers went to his head and now he won’t stop marrying people against their will.

1 Comment

  1. SilkyCrazyKnight

    October 15, 2014 at 11:37 am

    “Who let Ned Lagin DJ?”

    Haha! I actually had to wipe off my laptop screen.

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