Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Pardon Me, Myth

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Why do you hate your nose so much?

“That’s your opening line?”

This never goes well for me. Sometimes it seems like it will, but that’s only to set up a joke.

“Are you a lunatic?”

No.

“Are you the narrator of a loosely-continuitied semi-fictional universe that I’ve been roped into without my consent?”

No.

“You should buy my stuff.”

What are those things?

“Circles.”

Sure.

“And they’ve got Stealies.”

Nope.

“Close enough.”

I’ll give you that.

“You can put things on them.”

Absolutely, yeah.

“Yarmulkes.”

In a pinch, I guess.

“Table cloth for a family of fancy mice.”

That’s adorable. What’s on the menu?

“The smallest baby from the most recent litter.”

Less adorable.

“But efficient.”

No one ever accused mice of being impractical.

“Mice get shit done. Oh, here’s my boyfriend.”

We’re just getting right to that, huh?

“There’s a pattern to these things.”

Sure. Is he a member of the illustrious Fucks?

“No, he’s Mictlantecuhtli, the Aztec god of death.”

What?

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I’M GOING TO YO-YO ON YOUR SOUL.

Oh, fuck this bit.

Look at my evil bow-tie.

No, I won’t.

4 Comments

  1. SMH you got to be persistent in these situations. Mictlantecuhtli always rolls out early, peaks too soon. Ego thing. Hang caround (not too close) and when he’s crying like a pussy in a late first set looks like rain, chasing light sticks and beach balls, you make your move on Circle Girl. This shit happens in Atlanta nearly every show. Come on man.

  2. There’s nothing like laughing out loud in a vending booth in front of half a dozen people who don’t get the concept of semifictionality.

  3. I’m with Estimated on this one, that “Aztec God of Death” sure is a skinny f#%k. Circle Girl will surely not be impressed when the dude is weeping in the dust. You got game TotD, she’ll come around as soon as you step in the arena.

  4. Agreed…

    You and this semi-fictional lady are gonna make some magic.

    Maybe not today, but his brain will not be in one piece after burning man, and she will grow weary.

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