What are you wearing?
“Gardening gloves, work boots, and a yoinked shirt. You know: bicycling gear.”
What happened to spandex? You bike people love that bullshit.
“Oh, that’s just for when you’re on public roads. Then, you wear that stuff so everyone knows you’re exercising, not that you’ve gotten so many DUI’s that you don’t have a license.”
Oh, that’s what that crap’s for.
“It’s a status signal.”
Man, being a white person is complicated. Any thoughts on John Mayer’s outfit from last night?
“Ah. You’re referring to his toppermost.”
Everyone needs to stop saying that non-word.
“I liked it. Looked, uh, roomy. Very comfortable. He let me try it on after the show.”
“Thinking about getting some for myself.”
I forbid it.
“They got more pockets on the inside than you’d think. Wouldn’t need my fanny pack.”
No. This is not happening.