Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Phiddling Around

“Who is Salt Bae?”


“Salt Bae. He’s a meme. And what the hell’s a meme? Who is Salt Bae, and what’s a meme? Answer my questions.”

Are you looking at Buzzfeed again?

“I like taking the quizzes. Do you know they can tell what Marvel hero I have a crush on from my pastry choices?”

Yeah, the material’s getting thinner and thinner over there.

“I chose a bear claw, so apparently I have a crush on Hawkeye.


“Right? No one has a crush on Hawkeye.”

No one sane. Why didn’t you go to Sundance to see the movie premiere?

“Too cold.”


“No ‘and.’ I don’t want to go anywhere too cold any more, and I’m just not going to.”

I respect that.

“I don’t give a shit.”

I respect that, too.


  1. The pic is sideways. You’re either too high or not high enough.

  2. Where is the Swags anyway?

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