Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Phil Always Gets His Man

bobby yay phil hair

“Just admit it, Weir.”

“I don’t even know what a bocce court looks like, man. Describe it.”

“With or without the poop?”

“Wasn’t me.”

“You poop to mark your territory.”

“Just in Josh Meyer’s car.”

“Well, that wasn’t your fault. If you put a toilet in your car–”

“–You just have to expect a Grateful Dead to poop in it.”

“I think Clive Davis put that in the Arista deal: unfettered access to mobile shitters.”

“Shrewd dealmaker.”

“Fess up, Weir. You poop on the bocce courts?”

“Maybe it was a dog.”

“Lab says it’s human.”

“Lab? You got science involved in this?”

“It’s war, Weir.”

“That sounded funny.”

“This aggression will not stand. You invest your time and money into building a nice place–not some joint, a classy establishment–and the headaches never end and the busboys keep dying, but you work at it and it’s a success. And then some dickhead poops on your bocce court.”

“So, um: you’re going on the offensive?”

“Restaurant’s on total lockdown. Motion-activated thermal imaging cameras. Those laser beams like in the movies. Put a bunch of busboys in the trees with binoculars and nets. Got a sniper on the roof of the Trader Joe’s on the other side of the canal.”

“Maybe you could just get a dog?”

“Already got some. Did you know pit bulls could climb trees?”


“They ate several busboys.”



  1. You don’t see too many shots of Lesh with the Irwin bass. How long did he play it for and why did he ditch it?

    (….I am somewhat embarrassed at how much stupid trivia that I need to know to even ask that question.)

  2. I only count four knobs on that bass. Even Bobby’s Ibanez (?) has five knobs. I’d say it didn’t last long.

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