Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Phil’s Left, I Write, He’s Gone

phil lefty lockn

  • How long has Phil been a lefty?
  • Is this a new thing?
  • Did it come with the liver?
  • I may or may not believe that when you receive an organ transplant, certain traits from the donor come with it.
  • Language skills, maybe.
  • Common sense says that Phil has always been a lefty, though.
  • Why did I not know this?
  • Why have I not been calling him Lefty Lesh?
  • It’s like I woke up and everything I knew was wrong.
  • Phil’s still a man?
  • Still into foxy ladies, and not beefy dudes?
  • Is Phil secretly a black guy from St Louis named Big Gumbo?
  • Maybe Phil’s not a lefty and is just signing this guitar with his left hand for reasons.
  • Does Phil charge more for righty signatures?
  • Did he just sneeze real hard and gooey into his right palm, and doesn’t want to leave his goobers all over the guitar?
  • Perhaps Phil thinks that signing his name with his left hand means it’s not legally binding?
  • Phil did not attend law school.
  • I don’t know anything at this point: maybe Phil’s a lefty, and he just plays bass right-handed because those were the only types of basses they made in 1965.
  • Like a righty!
  • Oh, for fuck’s sake: is that an Apple Watch?


  1. Maybe he’s about to write something funny/derogatory after Woody Hayes signature. As I’m neither a writer, nor funny i will leave that up to your imagination.

  2. Sir Luther Von Baconson

    September 13, 2015 at 3:51 pm

    Bird’s Wing Hair

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