Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To


jm phish randos

What the hell do you think you’re doing, Josh?

“Don’t call me that.”

That’s what Pitchfork says your name is. What are you doing?


“I’m gonna be in Phish now.”


“I discovered I love jamming in front of white people on acid. I used to solo in front of drunk white people, but this is way more fun. So I’m thinking about joining Phish and being their guitarist and singer.”

Like, in addition to Trapqueen?

“We’ll see.”

Please don’t have Trey Anastasio murdered so you can take his place.

“I said, ‘we’ll see.’ I gotta talk to the Big Man.”

Irving Azoff?

“The nickname is ironic on one level, but sincere on many others.”

Sure. Don’t do this. The Phish Phans are meaner than the Deadheads.

“How bad can they be?”

Fucking vicious.

“Yeah, still: I’m gonna be in Phish.”

I did not see this coming.

“Me either! But here we are.”


That’s, like, your shirt of the summer, huh?

“This is Sammy Miami Chartreuse Label.”

How is that different than a regular Sammy Miami shirt?

“Much more expensive.”



  1. Josh photobombed those randos, they just wanted a picture of themselves by the lights, but no…

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