The heroin was bad enough, but did you absolutely have to chase it with ice cream, you fat dead bastard?  Why couldn’t you have been one of those skinny junkies? Anthony Kiedis was a junkie and he looks spectacular now. Of course, he’s 3’8″, but why quibble? You could have been one of those Jerry Stahl junkies, eating health food while steadily replacing his blood with smack.

But, no: you had a sweet tooth.