Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Pitchfork Is Sizeist

Why are you fat-shaming Rosie, Pitchfork? Yes, there’s a whole lotta her–42-39-56, to be exact–but it’s rather regressive and problematic of you to not practice HAAS (Humping At Any Size). Maybe if Rosie slimmed down enough to fit into skinny jeans, right?

I stand with Rosie, Pitchfork. I stand with all the Rosies because y’know what, Pitchfork? Rosie’s a good time. Rosie wants the job, and she’ll put in the work. Rosie’s good at stuff that skinny chicks haven’t even heard of. Rosie’s up for it; Rosie’s down; Rosie a gamer. She’ll play hurt, and make her coach proud. Team Rosie.

Also, Marvin Gaye is on the list several times, and he doesn’t have any songs at all with titanic guitar riffs that get answered by stadia full of teenagers screaming the guitarist’s name back at him. (Marvin Gaye’s fine. Y’know? He’s great, whatever, good for him. Let’s just say that he was very lucky to get shot when he did. Made all of his songs much better.)

1 Comment

  1. Trump is getting inside your head now..

    “Let’s just say that he was very lucky to get shot when he did. Made all of his songs much better.”

    Who said that?

    You think it was you, I think it was Trump.

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