Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Possible Explanations For Whatever Phil Is Doing, Part Two

phil 88 gloves

  • Trying out being a germaphobe, but not really committing.
  • The night before, Phil drunkenly got “LESH” and “HATE” tattooed on his knuckles.
  • They are sex gloves.
  • That afternoon, Phil’s hands converted to Islam, and also transitioned into women; they’re not gloves, they’re hand-burkas.
  • Picture taken on Halloween, and Phil’s costume was “Phil With Gloves.”
  • Something about harnessing ley lines.
  • Chilly, but only his palms; Phil tried regular gloves, but his fingertips were sweltering.
  • Somehow mime-related?
  • Right after the show, Phil is doing a very thorough inspection of the barracks
  • Sweatband got lonely.
  • After years of trying, Brent got Phil to attend a furry orgy with him; Phil wouldn’t put on the full costume, but he wore the gloves (and a tail we cannot see in this photo; trust me, it’s there) and got some tongue from a woman in an anteater outfit.


  1. Philmadonna.
    Who’s That Phil.
    Like a Phil
    Express Yourphil.

  2. Charles Bukowski gloves

  3. Etienne Mbappe, who plays bass for John McLaughlin, wears full gloves on both hands when he plays.

  4. Also, the gloves are from Alembic and they cost fifteen hundred bucks.

  5. liver failure induced cold hands.
    Or to conceal liver failure induced red palms

  6. The Central Shaft

    May 13, 2016 at 6:06 pm

    Reminiscent of my mom’s gardening gloves.

    The little bumps . . .

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