- Courtney Love.
- Carrie Nation.
- Carrie Fisher.
- Georgia O’Keeffe.
- Either of the two Destiny’s Children who were not Beyoncé.
- Beyoncé.
- Big-Dicked Sheila.
- Mamie Eisenhower.
- Mamie Van Doren.
- Ronald Reagan in a wig and makeup.
- Morgana the Kissing Bandit.
- Rosie the Riveter.
- Rosie the Robot.
- Rosie McGee.
- Kate Middleton
- The lady from the cover of Maggot Brain.
- Annie Oakley.
- Calamity Jane.
- Founder of Portland, OR, Penelope Portland.
- Founder of Portland, ME, Renesmee Portland.
- Elvira. (The one with the boobs and hair.)
- Elvira. (The one about whom “giddy-up-a-mow-mow” is sung.)
- Divine.
- Madea.
- RuPaul.
- Jackie Kennedy in the blood-stained pink outfit and pillbox hat
- Mary Todd Lincoln during one of her spells.
- Sally Hemmings.
- Sally Marr.
- Sally Ride.
- Sally Struthers.
- Vanessa Del Rio.
- Caril Ann Fugate.
- Bonnie Parker.
- Patty Hearst.
- Ethel Rosenberg.
- Tupac’s mom.
- Any of the blonde ladies from Fox News.
- Bo Derek. (Cuz she’s a “ten.” Get it?)
- An inspiring and celebrated Asian or Latina woman, whoever she may be.
- Margaret Thatcher. (I know she’s British, but Reagan fucked her, and that’s good enough for me.)
- Any of the Real Housewives of either Atlanta or Beverly Hills. (Not the Jersey ones: those women are trashmonsters and prostitution whores.)
- Shelley Long, but then after a few years we switch to Kirstie Alley and everyone likes the new bills way more.
- Margaret Sanger. (Just to watch Glenn Beck’s head explode. Also, the whole “improving society” thing.)
Honestly, though: this is good and timely and it better be Harriet Tubman.
June 18, 2015 at 12:04 am
Ann fucking Coulter, man! Sarah Palin! Mrs. Donna Jean!
June 18, 2015 at 12:08 am
Ah, I meant to put Mrs. Donna Jean…
June 18, 2015 at 6:15 am
Did Morgana ever plant one on any member of the Dead?
June 18, 2015 at 8:38 am
What about Trixie?
June 18, 2015 at 8:10 am
Gig Gangel
June 18, 2015 at 8:30 am
I read a book about J.Q. Adams and Andrew Jackson and some antebellum election and my major take-away was that AJ (and by extension everyone from TN) was a horrid indigenous peoples-murdering monster who singlehandedly started America’s backslide.
June 18, 2015 at 11:29 am
Yes.
June 18, 2015 at 8:51 am
Deborah Koons, Jill Lesh, and Joan Baez……The holy trinity of ……
June 18, 2015 at 10:19 am
Janice Joplin. Preferably a pic of her and Pigpen guzzling Southern Comfort. This pick should be announced on National Cirrhosis Day.
June 18, 2015 at 1:46 pm
Summertime, time, time, Child, the living’s easy.
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/c3/73/a6/c373a62fad6168d95fc93add48a3bb7f.jpg
June 18, 2015 at 11:30 am
Bob Weir circa late 67 / early 68
June 18, 2015 at 1:05 pm
That produced an audible laugh.
June 18, 2015 at 1:06 pm
No Kate Smith. Huh.
June 18, 2015 at 2:07 pm
I feel like you’d enjoy this, Mr. TotD: https://xkcd.com/1529/
June 18, 2015 at 2:54 pm
Alice Coltrane. Betty Davis. Nina Simone.
June 18, 2015 at 4:08 pm
Georgia O’Keeffe with 2 effs, if you give an “f” about it…and Kristen Wiig and Amy Poelher and Amy Schumer! Let’s get some real comics in the White House!!!
June 18, 2015 at 4:18 pm
The fact that you left out Tina Fey invalidates your opinion.
June 18, 2015 at 10:49 pm
Miss Liberty (should have never been taken off our money)
June 18, 2015 at 10:51 pm
How about a real woman for the ten and replacing the genocidal and incompetent Jackson from the twenty with Lady Liberty?