“Friends, Paul family, randos, members of the jam-band press, Soup–
“–festival-goers who wandered in thinking this was the yoga tent,and all assembled here: good afternoon, and thank you for this, uh, very nice award. On the off-chance that Mickey doesn’t integrate it into his drum kit, it’ll look real nice in the rumpus room.
“Les Paul was an innovator. Multi-track recording, and overdubbing, and the catalytic converter. You know those extendable back-scratchers you can buy at the register of 7-11? That was Les Paul. Guy had what you call, um, a febrile imagination. Built his own house, did the wiring. Hell of a guy.
“But the guitar? Hoo, boy. That’s a thing. People really like it. I got a couple. Real nice ones, too. Sunburst ’58. Black one, think it’s a ’63. Played that one onstage a little. Nothing against the guitar, but you could just walk into a store and buy one. You know: I’m a Grateful Dead. That’s not how we do business. Good little guitar.
“Oh, uh, those comics that come in Bazooka gum? Les Paul invented that. And he drew Bazooka Joe. Y’see: Les couldn’t draw faces, so he gave Joe the ol’ turtleneck design that became so iconic. Got a lot done, Les Paul.
“I remember a conversation I had with my best friend Jimi Hendrix. Jimi said–”
“Hey, Bobby, man?”
“–that he wanted to join the Dead, and I said–”
“–that I’d have to ask Garcia, and…Soup, c’mon, man. I’m being serious here.”
“Me too, man. Real quick, I swear, man.”
“Can you get the rando to put his potato salad away, man?’
“Okay, yeah, that’s a rough view.”
“Deal with it.”
“I’ll be in your bus, man.”
“Soup, God love ya, if you get within 100 feet of that bus, you’re getting tackled.”
“I’ll be in the Earthroamer, man.”