Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Predictions For Tomorrow’s Dead & Company Announcement

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  • MOAR SHOWZ!?
  • Perhaps in Las Vegas?
  • Maybe at the end of November?
  • Way?
  • No way!?!
  • This been Ian Chamber 2 reporting live from the scene; back to you, Thoughts on the Dead.
  • Thanks, Ian.
  • The rumors are true: there will be no Japanese shows.
  • (All the other big bands went to Japan, but I would wager it was never even brought up in a Dead meeting; the Dead just obviously would not translate and also Japan would not allow them into the country.)
  • (That said, it’s kind of weird that I’ve never sent them on a Japanese tour.)
  • Hey, you know what else turns 50 this year?
  • Huh?
  • Do ya?
  • Super Bowl.
  • Do not “open” until tomorrow, and tomorrow is “opening day”?
  • Omigod.
  • Holy shit.
  • CORE FOUR PLUS HOLOGRAM GARCIA JAMMING AT HALF-TIME, BROCEPHUS!
  • I hope that’s not true; do not make Hologram Garcia.
  • You can make Hologram Billy, though.
  • In fact: please do.
  • There may or may not be surprise guests announced, and sooner or later, they’re going to drag poor Branford into this.
  • Branford has successfully been avoiding the 50th Anniversary so far; it’s been an impressive run; he can’t run forever.
  • John Mayer has been replaced by Slash.
  • Slash has been replaced by Bumblefoot.
  • Bumblefoot has been replaced by Buckethead.
  • Billy has punched Buckethead in the bucketdick.
  • Buckethead is now crying.
  • Big, sad tears seeping out of his bucket.
  • Will there be a Christmas show?
  • Maaaaaaybe.
  • Will there be a Hanukkah show?
  • Noooooooo.
  • If, as TotDTV’s intrepid reporter Ian Chambers reports, there are Las Vegas shows for Thanksgiving, what precautions will be put in place to keep band members, crew, and fans from succumbing to the existential dickpunch that is Thanksgiving in Las Vegas.
  • I am quite certain only fictional characters go to Las Vegas on Thanksgiving, and they only go there to drink and commit felonies.
  • (This is only the American visitors, obviously: foreign people do not celebrate Thanksgiving, as they are heathens.)
  • Recidivist pickpockets, inveterate swindlers, two-bit pimps, degenerate gamblers, conflicted lawmen, conniving hussies, brazen floozies, bunco artists, drug dealers, yacht leasers, NBA players, faithless narrators, and many people with no visible means of support but a lot of friends.
  • Also, the Dead and Company.
  • Speaking of Vegas: a serious prediction; someone make note that I called this first.
  • Thoughts on the Dead Off-Track Betting (TotDotB) is setting the line for a themed and/or cover show at 6/5 and pick ’em.
  • I’m laying 3-to-2 on a show with a setlist from specific year, 3-to-1 on a specific show, Dark Star Orchestra-style.
  • John Mayer being allowed to do one of his own songs remains at 60-to-1.
  • John Mayer getting some ideas above his station and starting to sing one of his songs, and Mickey whipping drumsticks at the back of his head until he cries: even money.

19 Comments

  1. Nice logo. Where do I get the T shirt?

  2. http://www.blogcdn.com/www.stylelist.com/media/2013/07/town-crier.jpg

    Well buckle my shoes, ole ToTD is back, and not in black, back like he ever was.

    Tearin that shit up yo.

    The comments section is back in the pocket, like Sly and Robbie, giraffes in Space…, like Mick and John on Werewolves of friggin London..

    Like Nicky Hopkins helping whatever strung out group he was hired to save create glorious sounds..

    Back Back Back in effect.

    ToTD is in effect.

    Bonus round
    LockN starts today…

    Will Phil use his bass as a weapon and hit Billy with it? Bobby has been seen spinning sledge hammers, that will be his melee weapon. I expect a bloodbath.

    Mickey is playing the forest, I expect an electrocution, or fire, or angry trees become sentient and ask to be left alone.

    I have to drive to LockN at the moment but if I had a minute I would make a new Wally graffiti, or video to celebrate.

    It is morning again in America`.

  3. Brohemian, you are spending far too much time writing blog posts about you-know-who and far too little time writing novels. You clearly have the talent and time, so get your ass to work! A literary agent will pick that shit up and run with it.

  4. PS everyone go follow TotD on Instagram his username is “loser42069mydankmemessuck”

  5. Bonnie Lass of Fenario

    September 10, 2015 at 2:15 pm

    11 new dates have been added. No need to wait until tomorrow!

    http://www.deadandcompany.com/

    NYE in LA 🙂

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