Please don’t make that face at me.
“But I love you and give me food now.”
What happened to love?
“Love always. Food now.”
“Okay. I stop asking for food. You go eat food and then I will lick your face.”
Dude, you’re obsessed.
“Food is so good.”
I don’t beg you for food.
“This is a situational argument. You have food. I have no food. If I had food and you had none, you would beg me. Our discourse is contextual and based around the power of withholding. Read your Foucault, man.”
“Food now woof woof.”
Right. You don’t think your people controlling the food supply is a good idea? What would happen if you could eat all you wanted?
“Eat until puke.”
“Cycle continue until sleep.”
Right. Your people keep the food away from you for a good reason. Besides, you are most likely one of the best-treated dogs in the history of doggery.
“How you figure?”
You’re in the house. That’s kinda recent. Hell, a lot of places in this country still don’t let the dogs in the house.
“House is the best. Is where people are. Couches. Food. It does not rain in here, but it does thunder sometimes, which is not okay.”
You spend time with the people just hanging out?
“We go to the park with other dogs. The other dogs also have people, but they are not as good as mine.”
“I want to start Instagram account for them. Dress them up and take picture. Get likes.”
That’s weird. Anyway, back in the day, people didn’t hang out with their dogs. Rich ladies and poor kids, I guess, but for the most part, humans and dogs worked. Not just watched Netflix.
No one’s saying that anymore.
“I did not know. Sorry. I love you.”
No worries. Just saying: you got it good.
“Do you have food?”
I’ll find you something.
“I love you.”