Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Putting The Red In Red Rocks

“Y’know, Mrs. Adams-Girl-Kesey-Garcia, I just introduced a proprietary strain of weed under my own brand.”

“Really?

“Yeah. Very exciting. Do you know anything about growing weed?”

“You’re adorable.”

“What did I say?”

“Nothing, junior. Hey, who is that guy?”

“The shirtless one in the river over there? He looks familiar”

“Getting a bad vibe off him.”

“I’ll check him out.”

“Would you?”

“Course. Hey! Can I help you?’

“Nyet need help.”

“Putin catch fish.”

“Are you supposed to be here?”

“Putin go vhere Putin vant.”

“Can I see your pass?”

“Pecs are pass.”

“They’re not.”

“You are nyet in charge, Black Phil.”

“Do not call me that. And where’d you get a river from?”

“Bring vith me.”

“You can do that?”

“Da. Is most beautiful river in world. Many people say this.”

“Whatever. You’re bothering MG, and you’ve got to go.”

“Vhat!? You are 69’ing Putin?”

“86. You mean 86’ing.”

“Ah. English nyet idiomatic.”

“It’s pretty good, man. Lot better than my Russian.”

“Spaceeba. Vould you like to learn Russian vord?”

“Sure.”

“Vord is kompromat.

“Ooh, that sounds neat. What does it mean?”

“Come back to hotel and Putin show you.”

“Okay.”

“OTEIL! Go back in the dressing room!’

“Aww, Mountain Girl, I was playing with my new friend.”

“Now, mister!”

“Okay.”

“And YOU!”

“Vhat? Putin do nothing, Voman of Mountains.”

“Go! Get out of here before I take my shoe off!”

“But I vas fish–”

“NOW!”

“Da, ma’am.”

6 Comments

  1. Mean, Green, Devil Eating Machine

    August 8, 2017 at 9:35 am

    Perch???

  2. Putin better watch it or he’s gonna get dosed.

    • You dosed Putin? dosed Putin. OMG! We gotta make sure he’s ok!!!

      (to more or less tie three memes together, or Nest them in Dolls, as it were).

      I fricken LOVE this site.

  3. I’m liking this bit. It’s a good spinoff if the burning man bit.

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