Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Radio Daze

F(s)oTotD David Gans and Gary Lambert had Young John Mayer as a guest on their Tales from the Golden Road show on Sirius/XM; he stayed for the whole two hours and Bobby even called in from vacation. You can listen here, but if you don’t have the time, then here’s some of what we learned from YJM, with a guest appearance from OBW.

  • Went through three different bandana wranglers during the tour.
  • Engaged to Jon Lovitz.
  • Still has not met Jeff Chimenti, but has heard great things.
  • Through regression therapy, John Mayer has realized that in a past life, he was the ladder used in the Lindbergh baby kidnapping.
  • The Earthroamer still smells; also, Billy stole the engine.
  • Convinced that this is the Orioles’ year.
  • Speaking of baseball, John Mayer brought a bat into the studio and smacked it into his palm whenever David or Gary asked a question he didn’t appreciate.
  • The Cartier Rotonde de Cartier AstromystĂ©rieux was hands-down the sensation of the Salon International de la Haute Horlogerie, but the Panerai Lo Scienziato was a close second; never underestimate an angled tourbillon regulator.
  • Was at a big fancy Hollywood party the other day and got to sloppy second with Shailene Woodley.
  • Interrupted the interview five times to ask his Instagram followers to click that thing in the upper right corner; Gary Lambert reminded him they were on the radio; John swung the baseball bat at him.
  • Not only revealed that his penis was nicknamed “The Sloppy Jalopy,” but also explained the origin of the name. (Leaks oil.)
  • A fan of the tried-and-true radio bit, Young John Mayer made a few phony phone calls, but they were all to Katy Perry and they all ended in tears.
  • “Hello? Hi? This is, um, Bobby from Marin. Am I on the air? Wow, cool. Anyway: long-time caller, first-time listener. Could you play some Jimmy Buffett for my wife, Natasha Monster?”
  • “No, Bobby, this is Tales from the–“
  • “Dammit, I forgot to say the Phrase That Pays.”
  • And so on.
  • John Mayer is seriously contemplating getting off that fence and going Full Kimono.
  • Billy had a miniaturized tactical nuke implanted into his brain before the tour started; it detonates if the tempo goes above a certain bpm, and that’s why everything’s so slow.
  • Running out of excuses to give Mickey regarding the late night hotel drum sessions.


  1. SWAGGIE maggie

    March 28, 2016 at 9:01 pm

    Uhhh lol was anyone able to call in because I would’ve done that

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