Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Raise Your Hand

I tried, Enthusiasts: I tried. Opened up the actual text–the PDF, dammit–of this North Carolina HB2 law that’s caused all this hubbub. I was going to quote and cite and opine; my arguments would put a duck’s ass to shame in terms of watertightness. Also, I was going to try to be serous and not use made-up words like “watertightness,” or refer to ducks’ asses.

It was going to be epic, my friends, in vision, in virtuosity, in vituperative erudition: I was planning on weaponizing quotes from many famous men, and even some women if it occurred to me. I was to dip into the long history of entertainers using the only power they have–not showing up–to effect social change; check off the list of illustrious venues that only integrated after the headliner refused to go on with the show.

I didn’t know whether I would clap back or drop the mic first, but I was going to do both.

There’s no point, though: is there? What argument can be made against this legislative shiv that (barely) pretends to cure a problem that doesn’t exist in defense of nebulous “values” and “liberty.” Scrawled in crayon on a Chick Tract and blatantly unconstitutional, HB2 is the legal version of something its writers profess to hate: an abortion.

This world is full of mean fuckers who like to put the screws to weirdos; you need to choose sides.

I’m with Bruce, and I hope other bands scheduled to play North Carolina are, too.


  1. I’m kinda hoping that Bruce and PayPal and some of the other heavy hitters will have gotten all this sorted out by then. I ain’t gonna play Sun City.

  2. Could we just do a “stand up” bathroom and a “sit down w/ stall” bathroom? Or a “pee-pee” and “poo-poo” bathroom set? I’ve always wanted to poop in the ladies room, so go Bruce, go!

  3. Well done
    I side with weirdos and bruce

  4. Oh, and you too snowman

  5. If its a crime to choose weirdo over mean fucker than I’m guilty of all charges . . . Definitely want to poop in a ladies room. It’s been a lifelong obsession!!!

  6. Luther Von Baconson

    April 9, 2016 at 3:19 pm

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