Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Raise Your Hand

I tried, Enthusiasts: I tried. Opened up the actual text–the PDF, dammit–of this North Carolina HB2 law that’s caused all this hubbub. I was going to quote and cite and opine; my arguments would put a duck’s ass to shame in terms of watertightness. Also, I was going to try to be serous and not use made-up words like “watertightness,” or refer to ducks’ asses.

It was going to be epic, my friends, in vision, in virtuosity, in vituperative erudition: I was planning on weaponizing quotes from many famous men, and even some women if it occurred to me. I was to dip into the long history of entertainers using the only power they have–not showing up–to effect social change; check off the list of illustrious venues that only integrated after the headliner refused to go on with the show.

I didn’t know whether I would clap back or drop the mic first, but I was going to do both.

There’s no point, though: is there? What argument can be made against this legislative shiv that (barely) pretends to cure a problem that doesn’t exist in defense of nebulous “values” and “liberty.” Scrawled in crayon on a Chick Tract and blatantly unconstitutional, HB2 is the legal version of something its writers profess to hate: an abortion.

This world is full of mean fuckers who like to put the screws to weirdos; you need to choose sides.

I’m with Bruce, and I hope other bands scheduled to play North Carolina are, too.

7 Comments

  1. smokingleather

    I’m kinda hoping that Bruce and PayPal and some of the other heavy hitters will have gotten all this sorted out by then. I ain’t gonna play Sun City.

  2. Snowmans

    Could we just do a “stand up” bathroom and a “sit down w/ stall” bathroom? Or a “pee-pee” and “poo-poo” bathroom set? I’ve always wanted to poop in the ladies room, so go Bruce, go!

  3. Baby terp

    Well done
    I side with weirdos and bruce

  4. Baby terp

    Oh, and you too snowman

  5. Mulebyrd

    If its a crime to choose weirdo over mean fucker than I’m guilty of all charges . . . Definitely want to poop in a ladies room. It’s been a lifelong obsession!!!

  6. Luther Von Baconson

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=298z6jtdtZc

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