• Being in the wrong place.
  • Being at the wrong time.
  • Continuing to back Bernie Sanders after it became clear there was no path to nomination.
  • Talking about mommas.
  • Striding about in an arrogant fashion.
  • Misusing the Oxford comma.
  • Being a jive turkey in the weeks leading up to Thanksgiving.
  • Eye contact.
  • Not understanding the linguistic oppression of the suffixes -ess, -ette, and -enne.
  • If you tell the cashier that you think you have exact change, but it turns out you do not, then you will be murdered.
  • Failed to recognize the existential threat that is radical Islamic terrorism.
  • Stabbed by escaped tapir.
  • Having the wrong person’s back.
  • Choosing the wrong side.
  • Fronting.
  • Yelling “Freebird!” at a concert.
  • A guy was murdered in Camden four months ago because a rumor had spread that he was responsible for the worldwide bee die-off.
  • Apostasy.
  • Urban spelunking.
  • Tweeting too much.
  • Pronouncing it “nuke-yuh-ler.”
  • Conversely, someone has also been murdered for pronouncing the word correctly; you cannot win in Camden.