Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Recently-Added Speakers At The Republican National Convention

  • The guy who played Coach on Coach.
  • Dauber, also from Coach.
  • War.
  • Famine.
  • Pestilence.
  • Death. (Cancelled.)
  • The fish from the Amazon River that swims up your urethra and eats your bladder.
  • Shaggy 2 Dope.
  • Sam Lufti.
  • Andrew Breitbart’s corpse wearing a Reagan mask.
  • Dave Mustaine.
  • A VFW hall.
  • A child dying of something preventable.
  • Arrionde, the God of Fuck That Guy.
  • Jeff Dunham and Peanut.
  • Duffel bag full of furious raccoons.
  • The pile of dead Jew’s shoes from the National Holocaust Museum.
  • Papa John.
  • Melania Trump, who is acknowledged as one of the great beauties.
  • The scene from The Neverending Story where Atreyu drowns in the Swamp of Sadness.
  • Peter Thiel.
  • A syringe with AIDS-infected blood in it.
  • Jim Belushi.
  • James Woods via FaceTime.
  • Bristol Palin.
  • A knock on your door at three in the morning.
  • Marshawn Lynch refusing to say anything for the entirety of his allotted time
  • The folding chair Bobby Knight threw onto the court.
  • A Ferris Wheel come loose from its moorings and rolling down the street slicing people in half.
  • The smell of burnt microwave popcorn.
  • Big Daddy Kane.


  1. Ain’t no half steppin in this post…..

  2. Luther Von Baconson

    July 17, 2016 at 11:05 pm

    funny funny, that’s a stellar lineup. maybe johnny depp as whitey burger? his hair, his eyes. saw the movie on the plane, hallucinating from no sleep.

  3. I tried photoshopping Bobby Knight tossing the red stool onto the court but I ran out of skill…..

  4. I assume Johnny Ramone will be there as well.

  5. Luther Von Baconson

    July 18, 2016 at 2:31 am


  6. I followed the dead from ’87 -’95 through the period when the DEA targeted deadheads.
    I had numerous friends taken to jail, convicted, and sent to prison for manufacturing and selling lsd, shrooms, and weed. And if prison didn’t get them it felt like heroin eventually did. It was dark times but the band seemed to make cracks for the light to shine through.
    Now I’m grown, family, career, responsibility, nonsense, etc. Got shit to loose. This election cycle is the most frightening bullshit I think I’ve seen in this country. Your blog sometimes lets the light shine through. Thanks.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.