Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Reunited And It Choogles So Good

“Hey, Billy?”

“Yeah, Mick?”

“Who are all the new people in the band?”

“Piano player’s named Keith. Some kinda bullshit last name.”

“What about the chick?”

“That’s his old lady.”

“You’re shitting me.”




“He got a big dick or something?”

“Haven’t seen it yet.”

“Tell me if you do.”


“Something wrong with her throat?”

“No, that’s what she sounds like.”

“Okay. Billy?”


“Who’s the little guy with all the synthesizers?”

“He belongs to Phil. Neil? I wanna say his name is Neil.”

“Is he contributing?”

“No one’s quite sure. Tell you this, though: this whole tour, him and Phil have been making the most unholiest racket you ever heard during set break. Merch sales went up 20%.”


“They scared everyone into the lobby.”

“Sure. Hey, Bill, it’s nice to be back.”


“The Rhythm Devils are back together!”



“That’s what I said. Yay.”


  1. Two heads are better than one … except on tom-toms. 50/50 for the bass drum.

  2. Keith: This tune is in 4/4, not 13/8, assholes.

    Sonny Barger: I’m gonna find another beer,

  3. Mean, Green, Devil Eating Machine

    March 27, 2017 at 10:41 am

    The guy closer to the camera is Billy. The other drummer is one of the guys from the Bee Gees.

  4. Luther Von Baconson

    March 27, 2017 at 7:09 pm

    keith’s wearing a hip hugger sling containing a marmoset. given to him by good friend and Goodbye Girl star Quinn Cummings.

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