Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Rock’s Greatest Questions Answered

Who’ll Stop The Rain?

Unanswerable question, like “Is the current king of France bald?” Cannot be answered in the negative, as that implies that someone could stop the rain. You could respond with “Maybe Kevin could do it,” but that would just be glib and unhelpful. Rain pays no attention to humanity straddling athwart it crying hold. Rain’s gonna rain until there’s no more rain.

Have You Seen Your Mother, Baby, Standing In The Shadow?

I’m certain that I have. No specific memory pops to mind, but it would be nearly impossible not to have seen the woman under the protection of an overhang or leafy tree at one point. She lived in the house I grew up in, and we saw each other often. Yes, Rolling Stones, I have seen this which you describe. Thank you for asking.

Isn’t She Lovely?

Stevie, this totally depends on the antecedent of “she.” Who are we talking about? Martha Muttonface? That chick’s fucked-up looking, Stevie.

Pss pss pss.

I have been informed that Stevie was singing about his newborn daughter; obviously the answer to the question is “yes, quite lovely.”

Do You Know The Way To San Jose?


How Deep Is Your Love?

Seven fathoms.

Where Have All The Flowers Gone?

San Jose.

Should I Stay Or Should I Go?

I need more information than that. Are you hungry? If so, is there food in the house? Do you have to work? If you do, then you need to go. Did you just eat the servants? You will definitely have to go if you have just eaten the servants. That’s just rude, The Clash. Stop eating hard-working writers’ servants.

Have You Ever Seen The Rain?

You back, Creedence? What is it with you and rain? You’ve got some sort of hang-up. And, yes. Of course I’ve seen fucking rain, Creedence. You trying to pull something? Got my eye on you, Creedence.

When Will I Be Loved?

When you open your heart, child. In the summer of your smile as the sunflowers bow to you, and with strong grass underfoot your soul: then shall love enter, then shall love heal, then shall love nourish. You will be fed by love! But only when you open your heart, and maybe go to a bar or try the online thing again. Gotta put yourself out there.

Where Did Our Love Go?

San Jose.

Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is?

The Naval Observatory in DC. This could have been looked up, Chicago. Don’t make me do your work for you.

Why Don’t We Do It In The Road?

These are just getting dumb. Even if there weren’t the danger of getting run over, the road is made of road, and therefore not pleasant for humping upon. In a car on the road would be fine, but the road itself? Fuck that shit, The Beatles.

Wouldn’t It Be Nice?



  1. vis a vis knowing what time it is, the national bureau of standards in boulder could also help. (field trip, 3rd grade.) also, near both folsom field and red rocks.

  2. San Jose is really the hub.. it seems. I did not know that. Thanks

  3. The timeservers at the usno are named tick and tock.

    And that is really cute for the military, even the navy.

  4. Drink all day rock all night

    May 6, 2017 at 1:12 am

    “Where have all the good times gone?” Diamond Dave wants to know! (Yeah yeah Ray Davies and all that but it’s much more fun when David Lee is asking).

  5. “Who Are You?” “What’s Up?” “What’s Going On?” “Who Do You Love?” “Who Let the Dogs Out?”

  6. Who put the ram in the ram-a-lam-a-ding-dong?

  7. Mean, Green, Devil Eating Machine

    May 6, 2017 at 9:38 am

    I cannot immediately recall any GD songs that ask the question? I guess they are all answers to the question man.

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