Another day, another Rolling Stone interview with a Grateful Dead, another batch of important facts left out of the article at the command of Big Dead. Why were the following points Robert Hunter made omitted from the article? Is it because they cause autism? Probably.

  • Has outsourced his lyrics to Bangalore since around ’92.
  • Middle name: Corn Bread.
  • Makes deliberate grammatical mistake around John Perry Barlow just to fuck with him.
  • Raked in a bunch of cash translating poetry after he realized that the people paying him had no way of checking his translation and just started making shit up, which is much quicker.
  • Only listens to speed metal now.
  • Has been banned from 12 zoos for exposing himself to the marsupials.
  • And seven for exposing himself to the patrons.
  • It should be mentioned that the patrons he chose to expose himself to were wearing fanny packs, so they were kinda marsupials.
  • Wishes he and Garcia had written more novelty songs.
  • Not a germaphobe, but won’t get near a buffet. (“Why don’t I just pay a transient to shit in my mouth?” Hunter would often ask when offered access to the buffet table.)
  • The dark star was his butthole.
  • Did not care for Montevideo. Nothing to do there.
  • In 1975, gave himself scurvy, just to see what it was like.
  • Awful. Scurvy is awful.
  • His poetry dick is a dactyl long.
  • Tried writing with Bobby one last time in 1981, but by then, Bobby required a farmboy to drunkenly shoot at him to write a song, so that was it for the partnership.
  • Played the character of Jack Tripper in the pilot of Three’s Company, only to be fired and replaced by John Ritter.