Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Sam Cutler Took Me By The Hand, And We Made Love In His Chevy Van

“Do you all wear th’ same shirts now? Is this what your generation is doing? I’m ‘orrified.”

“Just a coincidence, Sam.”

“Now, Amir me son, I must confess to noticing that you ‘ave no crew members of color.”

“What?”

“Nor Latinos.”

“Um, yeah, I guess.”

“Thought you were an ally.”

“I am an ally, Sam.”

“To what are you allied?”

“I have no idea.”

“There you go. That’s the kipper in the wicket.”

“I don’t think that’s a real saying.”

“Rubbish. Now, what shall we do about this inequity?”

“Sam, I work with people of color. But my camera guy just happens to be white.”

“Odd coincidence, innit? Sorry state I find you in, me son. When I managed the Grateful Dead, I strove for diversity.”

“You did?”

“I didn’t achieve it in the slightest, but I strove. The striving was present. Wasn’t all white boys. We had some ladies. Mickey shared the same affliction as yourself.”

“Being Jewish is not an affliction, Sam.”

“Rarely helps, though, dunnit?”

“Can we get back to the interview?”

“I’d like to talk some more about Phish. I ‘ave several mean comments I didn’t use.”

“Later, Sam. We’re losing the light.”

“Keep your pants on. All right, stories. I received four-and-a-‘alf blowjobs at Woodstock.”

“Half?”

“Midget.”

“Keep it going.”

“The entire European tour in ’72 was a front for a ‘eroin distribution scheme.”

“Really?”

“Every word th’ truth, Amir me son. Jerry Garcia was completely bald at th’ age of 18. Wigs and facial prosthetics from then on.”

“That’s just not true.”

“Charlie Watts doesn’t know how to read.”

“None of this is true.”

“I never saw a cupcake until last week. A young filly I been seeing presented me with the confection, and I became frightened and struck her with the portable toilet from me van.”

“That might have happened.”

“Phil was th’ Zodiac Killer.”

“Probably.”

3 Comments

  1. Wow, a Sammy Johns reference. Right down there with “Me And You And A Dog Named Boo” and “Dancing In The Moonlight.”

    Youngsters, if you get access to a Time Sheath be sure to go looking for the Grateful Dead or Miles Davis or something, not early 70s AM hits. Just a warning. There’s a reason this blog isn’t called “Thoughts On Lobo.”

    • Thoughts On The Dead

      July 28, 2017 at 2:04 am

      The AM hits didn’t have the depth of the Dead, but they were little nuggets of cheesy goodness.

  2. Luther Von Baconson

    July 28, 2017 at 11:07 am

    some good smells in that van I bet. Dunhill’s or Rothman’s sweat, adrenalin, Sainsbury’s Tinned Kippers, Scruttock’s Old Dirigible Lager, Yardley’s……..

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