Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

She Wore A Coat (And Boots) Of Many Colors

What do beautiful people dream of?

“Swimming pools and opportunity.”

Will technology save us?

“Those of us in car crashes. But there wouldn’t have been the crash without technology. To separate man from his machines is to defang the rattlesnake. No wings, no claws, slow and sleepy. Easy pickings, but for the fire which made the rest of the animals afraid. Fire comes first, and then pogo sticks and rail guns. Technology is us, so what you should ask is: can we save ourselves?”

Can we save ourselves?

“Probably not.”

May I lay my head gently on your stomach?

“Probably not.”

Is there nothing left to do?

“Dance. Drink. Screw. Some people like to sit by themselves writing stories, but you shouldn’t trust those fuckers.”

What is art?

“A specific lie that illuminates a general truth.”

And what is entertainment?

“Car chases and tits.”

But cannot car chases and tits be art?

“Mine are.”

Tits?

“Yeah, tits. Never been in a car chase. One of those things from the movies that’s actually not at all desirable to participate in. Like fucking on the beach.”

The sand.

“It’s coarse, and it gets everywhere.”

I’d like to bring up the possibility of the head-on-stomach thing again.

“You’d really have to ask my boyfriend. He shouldn’t own a cat.”

What?

O, sweet Jesus.

“STAY AWAY FROM MY LADY!”

What’s the cat’s name?

“CUNT.”

Aaaaand we’re done.

7 Comments

  1. SmokingLeather

    If you pass out with your shoes on people will write on your face in some circles. It is a testament to alcohol consumption that someone wouldn’t wake up for a face tattoo.

  2. stellblu

    My screen is terribly cracked (or perhaps I am), but I read that title multiple times as She Wore A Coat (and Boobs) Of Many Colors.
    Not untrue.

  3. Mean, Green, Devil Eating Machine

    http://www.charlotteobserver.com/news/local/3r98do/picture147415509/alternates/FREE_960/varn and backgrounder http://www.charlotteobserver.com/news/local/article147415514.html Black-eyed mugshot of Lancaster County suspect gets national attention, disbelief

  4. Meryl Shakedown Streep

    “FAM”

    • SmokingLeather

      G⚡D.
      Fam

  5. ste4ve

    Why is “beer” spelled the right way but GD and FAM and the bolt are reversed? When he looks in the mirror (if that ever happens) it’ll say “reeB,” and might be confusing. In any case, he’ll be able to read the swastika.

    That puss rocks.

    • SmokingLeather

      I have met this guy. No joke. Beer is the only thing that is backwards in real life because he did that one himself. Also the Backwards “Indian” swastika was supposed to be an anti Manson thing that he got tired of defending so the star of David/ seed of life thing over it.

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