Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Should I Stay Or Should I Go?


Hey, Bobby. Whatcha doing?


One of the three best meals of the day.

“Can’t knock it. Not as heavy as dinner. Plus there’s, you know, no food restrictions. Breakfast has all these rules.”

What if you want a nice piece of fish?

“That’s what I’m saying. Maybe I want pasta first thing in the morning. Shouldn’t get guff for it.”

Pasta for breakfast is not a good idea, though.

“It was just an example.”

You know who that is at the other table, right?

“The white guy?”

They’re all white guys, Bobby.


Jason Newsted.

“Good for him.”

From Metallica.

“Oh, yeah. Okay. Metallica. They play that heavy mental music. ‘DADADADADA grrrrr Satan Satan Satan.’ That kind of stuff, right?”

That’s about it, yeah.

“Huh. They still together? Touring?”

Metallica is still together and touring, yes, but Jason is not in the band.

“I don’t understand.”

He quit.

“Well, I don’t know about that. Huh. No, I don’t know about that. You don’t quit your band. I’m still in every band I’ve ever joined. No, no, I just don’t know about that at all. I got fired and didn’t even leave my band. You stay in your band, man.”

I’m with you on that one.

“Why’d he quit?”

Wanted to do solo stuff, I guess.

“So you hire Billy Cobham, call up your buddy with the harmonica, have a Star Trek actor write some lyrics, and book some studio time. You don’t have to leave the band.”

There were also personal issues.

“Billy tried to murder every member of the band except Garcia on multiple occasions. You don’t leave the band.”

Sure, but–

“You don’t leave the band.”

“No, fuck this. I’m 86’ing him.”

I support your decision.


  1. Goddamn hippies…

  2. Why is Bobby having brunch with J. Peterman from Seinfeld?

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