Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Silver Foxes In The Sun

bobby anderson cooper

“You left me here, you son of a bitch.”

“Oh, hey, Coop. Ah, dammit. Knew I forgot something. I made a note in my Apple Watch about it, too.”

“So, what happened?”

“Tell ya the truth, I don’t know how the gadget works. I mostly just yell towards my wrist.”

“Okay. Where were you? That roadie person showed up with the thing and then you disappeared.”

“Right, yeah. Well: I had a gig, and he lost interest.”

“Who’s ‘he?'”

“I’ve explained this a couple times to you. Semi-fictionality is–”

“STOP SAYING THAT WORD THAT’S NOT A WORD.”

“You don’t have to yell.”

“I’ve tried everything else!”

“Haven’t clicked your heels together.”

“That’s not funny, Bob.”

“Not trying to be. Only way to get out of here. Wouldn’t lie to you.”

“Do I have to say–”

“Well, of course you have to say–”

“I’m just asking.”

“I mean: duh.”

SHOE CLICK

SHOE CLICK

“There’s no place like home. There’s no place like home. There’s no place–”

“Nah, I was fucking with you.”

“–like…WHAT THE FUCK, BOB?”

“You know: prankster.”

“Hilarious. Am I trapped here?”

“Oh, no: this is the last picture. You’re free to go after this.”

“So, just ride this out.”

“Yeah. Nothing weird’s gonna happen.”

OH MY GOD. ANDERSON COOPER. I AM A FAN.

“What the fuck is that?”

“Hey, Wally.”

DO NOT CALL ME THAT. I LIKE YOUR HAIR, ANDERSON COOPER. IT IS SILVER LIKE A BLIMP.

“Is that a sound system?”

“It’s not ‘a’ sound system, no.”

WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE MY MOUNTAIN?

“Precarious tell you Coop was here?

“Don’t call me that.”

DO NOT STEAL MY LINES, ANDERSON COOPER. I LIKE YOUR EYES. THEY ARE #3399FF.

“Please let me go home.”

 

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