Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Sleepy Batman Returns

GOTHAM – NIGHT – EXT.

COMMISSIONER GORDON and a UNIFORMED COP stand next to the BAT SIGNAL.

They are eating pizza.

COP
I’m just saying that we ordered the pie after
turned on the signal, sir.

COMMISSIONER GORDON
He’ll be here. Maybe there’s traffic.

COP
It’s three in the morning and he has a
tank, sir. And a plane. And a boat.

COMMISSIONER GORDON
What’s your name, officer?

COP
Jenkins, sir.

COMMISSIONER GORDON
Shut the fuck up, Jenkins.

The BAT SIGNAL pops and fizzles ominously.

COP
How long is this thing supposed to be on?

COMMISSIONER GORDON
It’s getting really hot.

BATCAVE – INT.

ALFRED check under tables and desks, then finds SLEEPY BATMAN curled up in the back-back of the BAT STATION WAGON.

He pounds on the window.

ALFRED
Are you not wearing your CPAP machine?

SLEEPY BATMAN
Dude, I just can’t wake up.

ALFRED
Bane just ate the mayor.

SLEEPY BATMAN
Well, then, there’s no real rush to get there,
is there? I’ll wake up early and take care of it
tomorrow morning.

ALFRED
Gotham needs you, sir.

SLEEPY BATMAN
I’m just bushed.

Stop this. Again. Stop this. There’s no joke here.

I’ll find one if I keep typing.

You won’t. There is no meat on this particular bone.

Let me explain this to you; I see you don’t understand the humor.

I can’t find the humor.

It’s Batman.

Got you.

And he’s sleepy.

Fuck you.

1 Comment

  1. Sleepy Batman cracks me up! He needs to take it easy on the ‘ludes while drinking though.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

*