- Alcoholic beverages.
- Alcoholic meals, such as rumham or a roast chicken with an Absolut bottle shoved up its ass.
- Bags. (This includes backpacks, satchels, biker bags, purses, pocketbooks, clutches, murses, baby bjorns with stuff in them instead of babies, hobo bindles, pack donkeys, tote bag, fanny pack, enormous magical sack heaved over your shoulder.)
- Balloons, floaty.
- Balloons, sad.
- Beach balls.
- Beach scrota.
- Beverage containers of any sort including, but not limited to: bottles, cans, bota bags, hats with straws, a garbage bag full of “punch” carried by you and your cousin Uncle Bucky, chalice, thermos, hollowed-out gourd, amphora, cask, shot glass, hands cupped together kneeling at a cool river, coffee mug your kid made you.
- Cameras.
- Catamarans.
- Celebratory gunfire.
- Confetti, although this is a “play stupid games, win stupid prizes” type of situation, in that throwing confetti all over people at a Bears game would most likely get you stabbed and no jury would convict a man what done it.
- Fireworks, smoke bombs, M80s, Cherry Bombs, sticks of red dynamite with long fuses hanging off, spherical black bombs with long fuses hanging off, any sort of plunger/wire device, Claymores, grenades, space grenades like the one Princess Leia (disguised as the bounty hunter Boushh) scared Jabba with, the naked Chinese kid throwing firecrackers from Boogie Nights.
- Flamethrowers.
- Ice chests.
- Ice torsos.
- Illegal drugs.
- Illicitly obtained legal drugs.
- Laser pens, pointers, blasters, swords.
- Noise-making devices. (Air horns, bull-roarers, those cheap plastic tubes that go HWOOOO when you whirl them, vuvuzelas, whoopie cushions, fart machines, coked-up nephews.)
- Poles to display the banners we already told you not to bring in so why were you bringing a pole in, asshole?
- Stroller.
- Stick of any kind, including selfie sticks and definitely not a ninja-grade bo staff; you could take out dozens of people with that thing before they took you down.
- They’d probably have to shoot you.
- Umbrellas. (In any variety: small, and worn as a hat by a doofus; immense, and wielded by a caddy for an asshole; made of newspaper like you were some cheap bitch; big leaf like a gorilla.)
- Weapon of any kind: ranged, melee, artillery, recoil-less, dead body hurled over the city walls, sai, eskrima sticks, flying guillotine, duffel bag full of furious raccoons, epee, foil, sabre, scimitar, bat’leth, Graive, hand-replaced-by-chainsaw, sawed-off shotgun, blowgun that shoots used syringes, bowcaster, Excalibur, Sting, sex (if you use it as a weapon,) a branch with a piece of human feces on the end of it.
Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To
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The Tampon Wrappers is pure genius.
“Guys won’t even look at a tampon much less handle it at security. ” hahaha
Hellz yeah man
But the big drawback to these products is they are designed for hard liquor. Which means you end up drinking hard liquor. Yuck. 😛
True! I imagine you might be able to sneak some beer in the sunscreen containers and body bags, but you’re right that you’d have to be drinking some hard stuff. I’m obviously underage and have never drank before though so I’m unfamiliar with these things for the most part
You should try alcohol: it makes you look older and the cool kids will like you.
THATS A LIE
A DIRTY LIE
I don’t even drink soda. It’s frickin nasty.
Guess you don’t wanna be cool
If you want to really hear and enjoy the music, and have vivid memories of the event, forget alcohol. It’s for losers.
I also told my niece when she started smoking cigs that it made her breath smell like ass. She soon quit gawd bless her soul. 🙂
Smoking and drinking is really not that cool IMO bruh
I’m VERY COOL ALREADY
OK good, you be kool. Don’t need to be giving the rest of these ToD guys bad ideas. They are already teetering on the edge. hahaha.
Good for you on the soda/pop, too! That bullcrap is seriously terrible for you.
Thermal detonator. That was the thing Leia was carrying.
Don’t come with any high expectations, either.
Your expectation level is tied to your ticket price. No? haha
Sting, the wrestler?
Saw sting open up for the dead at Rich Stadium in 93 (?), would have preferred the rassler, just kidding from what little I can remember sting was good but sound was low.
I saw that show as well, your recollection jives with mine.
Orchard park was always a good time. And the border was a little more porous in the those days.
Darien lake,rich stadium, the old buffalo auditorium. Good memories
The magic elf sword.
Bilbo Baggins opened for the Dead in Buffalo?
Boffo Box Office, by the by.
ok now I get it
http://i.imgur.com/Wv1vdRK.png
Oathkeeper woulda been more timely.
I always did like the binoculars flask. Forgot what website I saw it on.