Oh, no.

YES! And a thousand more of that word, that ‘yes’ word; I say it again: YES!


BIG DEAD has always lied to you, my fellow Enthusiasts, from the fact that Phil and Bear produced the sound for the moon landing that NASA faked to the coincidentally-also astronaut-related fact that Brent ate an astronaut.

Stop saying things like that.

What things? Truth things? My things of truth that are true? Things that David LIE-mieux and David Gans (who already has a funny sounding name) are FORBIDDEN BY THEIR MASTERS TO TELL YOU?

Truth would be fine. Stop telling people that Brent ate people. It’s the internet; people believe fucking anything.

I know, right? This vaccine thing–

–Oh, yeah, sure–

–is just out of control and it’s all the internet thaHOW DARE YOU DISTRACT ME FROM TRUTH!

And so easily.

The TRUTH: Mickey did not leave the band because of his father stealing all the money, plus Pigpen’s bottle cap collection, NO. I present Exhibit A

billy phil t shirts mickeyThey told him they weren’t doing T-shirt Tuesday anymore. THEY LIED TO MICKEY!

Go get the car.


Time for a road trip.  We’re going to kidnap David Lemieux and force him to tell us what he knows.*


You’re not a bright man, are you?

*This is not actually going to happen.