AND NOW THE TRUTH CAN BE TOLDINATED!
YES! And a thousand more of that word, that ‘yes’ word; I say it again: YES!
BIG DEAD has always lied to you, my fellow Enthusiasts, from the fact that Phil and Bear produced the sound for the moon landing that NASA faked to the coincidentally-also astronaut-related fact that Brent ate an astronaut.
Stop saying things like that.
What things? Truth things? My things of truth that are true? Things that David LIE-mieux and David Gans (who already has a funny sounding name) are FORBIDDEN BY THEIR MASTERS TO TELL YOU?
Truth would be fine. Stop telling people that Brent ate people. It’s the internet; people believe fucking anything.
I know, right? This vaccine thing–
–Oh, yeah, sure–
–is just out of control and it’s all the internet thaHOW DARE YOU DISTRACT ME FROM TRUTH!
And so easily.
The TRUTH: Mickey did not leave the band because of his father stealing all the money, plus Pigpen’s bottle cap collection, NO. I present Exhibit A
Go get the car.
Time for a road trip. We’re going to kidnap David Lemieux and force him to tell us what he knows.*
You’re not a bright man, are you?
*This is not actually going to happen.