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“Here’s Johnny Boy.”

“Look out, look out: the Andyman.”

“Do you want to tell everyone out there in TV land about our weekend at Santa Clara?”

“We roadtripped!”

“In the Earthroamer, yeah.”

“You pooped a lot in it.”

“I don’t know what it was: I got in the thing and just had to go.”

“I’m finding out that’s a universal reaction.”

“We went to see the Dead and then that was the weekend that marriage equality passed, so we went out.”

“Right. You took me to a number of saloons for homosexuals.”

“Or gay bars. Whichever.”

“We paraded up and down Fancy Street.”

“Or went to several bars. Either, John.”

“There was the Ramrod.”

“What?”

“Not your Ramrod, Bob.”

“Ah.”

“And then we went to the Abbey. Then the Ginger Beer.”

“The Irish gay bar.”

“We were all over the place, Andy: The Tufted Tush, Fort Dicks, Tallywhackers, the Frisky-a-Go-Go.”

“They closed the Frisky.”

“Why?”

“Everything.”

“It was a bit of a dive. Was that the place they were filming the gay porn?”

“This might be a better story for the web-only portion of the interview, John.”

“There were gay porn stars all over the place, and quite a few gay porn character actors. One fellow introduced himself to me as the ‘Paul Giamatti of gay porn.'”

“John.”

“His name was Thrilling Fist.”

“John.”

“I assume that’s not his real name.”

“You’ve gotten weird since you started hanging out with these people, John.”

“Don’t say that, Andyman.”

“I’d be a bear, right? If I were gay, that’s what I’d be called, right? Bear?”

“Yes, Bob.”

“That’s just great.”