Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Songs For Halloween

  • Your Bobby is a Wonderland (If you don’t make this joke, you get jailed by Obama. Thanks, Obama.)
  • Dark (C-List) Star
  • The Other, Other, Other, Other, Other One.
  • Suckin’
  • (Chicago Should Have Been) The Last Time
  • Turd Song
  • Douche Of Grey
  • Douching That Bag
  • Phil Don’t Have No Interest (In This Band)
  • I Know You, Mayer (Now Please Fuck Off)
  • (Y’know What Would be Fun: Disassembling an ’82 Datsun 240z and Beating John Mayer to Death With) The Wheel
  • (It Would also Be a Gas to Break John Mayer’s Legs, Take him to the Top of Mt. Whitney, and Set A) Fire on the Mountain
  • Terrapin Imitation
  • Throwing Stones (at our Reputation)
  • Estimated Profit


  1. “It Must Have Been the Money.” “Franklin’s Tower: Literally, a Tower of Franklins” “The Greatest Story Ever Sold.”

  2. When I heard, the first thing I did was run here. Because I knew you would say what we were all thinking, and say it well.

  3. Jennifer Anis Ton Of Steel
    Uncle John’s House Of Hanky Panky
    Goulish Heart
    Oh Babe I Aint No Double Douche Pie
    It Must Have Been The Monster Hash
    Caution (Do Not Piss Off Taylor Swift)
    Nekkid Lady With A Fan & Grapes Please
    Throwin Tombstones
    Lenny Kravitz Black Peter Blues
    Jessica Simpson & The Fabulous Candymangoes

  4. Admit it: you’ve been warming up that “Estimated Profit” in the bullpen for a looooong time.

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